Are You Sitting Down?

I am, because despite the departure of Other Brother from being my roommate I still retain my Throne, Bench, and Couch of Perpetual Indulgence Mark II.  If I had a full time job, I might think about replacing the echos in the living area with new furniture; like an Eames Lounge Chair from the lovely people at CSN who do home decor and furnishings.  By the way, if you leave me a comment at the end of this blog I'll choose at random one winner of a $15 gift code to use as you wish at any of their 200+ websites.  They only ship to the US and Canada so if you happen to be my one Vietnamese reader out there, sorry about that but feel free to say "hi" anyway.  Canadians may run into international shipping taxes from receiving their stuff, but otherwise you can use the gift code for whatever you'd like. 

Okay, corporate obligations aside, here's a recap of the weekend.  Other Brother came back with his Mom and Uncle in a whirlwind of moving and relocated yesterday.  Everything's fine with us, he's going back to Dallas where the work is and is still fulfilling his financial obligations to me.  I can't and don't blame him for going where the work is, but I'll miss him.  I looked despondent enough when he left that unofficial roommate James gave me a gruff hug and then said we should go to his place to watch a movie so I wouldn't be stuck alone in an empty house.

Off to James' house to watch Dead Snow, the most awesome Norwegian zombie flick ever created, and drink scotch.  After the movie was over work began on The Comic Books.  The Comic Books are James' latest acquisition apart from the Sofa of Doom.  Both came from Tommy, a friend who had to move to South Korea for work.  Tommy offered to sell James not one, not two, but EIGHT fully packed comic boxes (Length 30 X Width 9 X Height 12 3/4) for the low low price of $200 since he had to vacate and didn't care about storing them.  In these crates were just about every title, storyline, crossover, graphic novel, and special edition known to man for the past ten years under Marvel, DC, and then some; a good 95% of which are in pristine condition.  

Unfortunately, James is much the same way I am about my comic books when I get around to organizing them.  It becomes a mission for which perfection is the only option, damned be the time it takes.  James had been working on this solo for the better part of two and a half weeks and was becoming increasingly frustrated with this nightmare of an OCD project.  So we sat down and for five hours sorted, separated and arranged by number (lowest on top) all these titles.  With the two of us working we got through a large chunk of the collection, but it's by no means finished.

This, in large part, is the reason that we spent a few hours at the New Orleans Comic Con today.  Tommy had the annoying habit of purchasing all issues in a series but for one in the middle (probably thinking he'd already bought it) and James was interested in hunting down a few missing issues as well as purchasing more bags and boards for his acquisitions.  The first three hundred bags barely scratched the surface.

The fee for getting in was not what we had been led to believe and absolutely ludicrous to the point that I feel exceedingly guilty since James had offered to pay.  When you get in, the comic stores are selling you stuff, the dealers are selling you stuff, and the stars sure as hell are selling you stuff.  $25 for an autographed photo?  Really?  

All right, I admit it was kinda neat to see all those big names in one spot.  The childhood geek in me loved seeing Peter Tork of the Monkees (lookin' good for his age) as well as Louis Gossett Jr. (short!).  I must've seen Firewalker with him and Chuck Norris about fifty times.  Walter Koenig (Chekov - Star Trek) was there too, although that was kinda sad because the last time I really paid attention to him was when I was in Vancouver on Halloween holiday in '09--not two miles from the park where his son committed suicide that same week.  On a lighter note, Ernie Hudson from Ghostbusters is none too shabby for as long as he's been around and seemed to be genuinely enjoying himself.   

The only people who weren't hawking stuff were the members of the 501st, a Star Wars costume troupe that does charity events.  My friend Karrie Monster is a soon-to-be member and was helping out with the booth in Sith gear.  Karrie introduced me to her two friends Megan (dressed as LeeLoo from the Fifth Element) and Amber, wearing a blond wig and very short red dress.  Amber had been commandeered to assist in bringing traffic to Daniel Logan's (Boba Fett from Star Wars: Episode II) booth.  This guy is a tiny little perv of a Kiwi.  He's maybe 5'3" and weighs slightly more than a cheeseburger. But good grief his personality is big!  The first comment he had as Karrie, Megan and I wandered up was to look up and ask "Threesome?   Foursome?"  Naturally I brought the girls up front and center and said "these count as four".  His eyes bugged out and he agreed wholeheartedly.


Amber interjected and asked if we wanted to see her ad space.  We said sure, and came around the booth where she was, Daniel waving us in.  Amber then turned her backside to us, lifted her dress, and showed us the outerwear set of panties she'd made that read "Your Ad Here" on the crotch.  The ladies and I all agreed this was pretty funny and Daniel suggested we show the neighbor in the booth behind...who happened to be Adam West.  (If you need me to tell you who that is you need to pull your head out from under that rock.)  The explanation was given, the curtain pulled aside....

I can't tell you how funny it was to see that old man tilt his head, stare, and then immediately with a look of incredulity turn around and go back to his booth.  The next victim was Nicholas Brendan (Xander of Buffy).  He got called over and this time Amber showed her sign from the booth counter.  He was wearing shades (because, y'know, they do that in Hollywood) and came over, same head tilt, then the expression of shock as he realized what it was he was looking at. I couldn't watch when they tried it with Walter.  I was afraid that poor old man would have a heart attack. 


I glanced over to the next table where one of the other actors was having lunch and giving a quizzical look as to what was going on at our booth.  I wandered over and said I was going to leave the perverts for awhile and talk to some normal people.  She asked what they were doing and I explained the gag to her.  Her name was Keisha Tillis and she's a very pretty, well-spoken, up and coming actress.  As of late she was in the AMC series The Walking Dead.  I've read two of the graphic novels (again thanks to James) and really enjoyed them, but hadn't gotten a chance to see the show yet.  I'm gonna have to now, she was really nice and I loved the books.

After hobnobbing with the nerdy and famous, we went back to the house for JamesBurgers.  The rest of the day was calm and rainy.  I've got a temp job in the AM, so that's all for now folks!  Tune in next week, same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.  And now a word from our sponsor (Your Ad Here).   

 

Off and On: NOW? Never! Hooray for Feminisnt.

Off and On: NOW? Never! Hooray for Feminisnt.: "I don’t think the National Organization for Women would appreciate my views on less equality for females. Thirty years ago women could..."

NOW? Never! Hooray for Feminisnt.

I don’t think the National Organization for Women would appreciate my views on less equality for females.  Thirty years ago women could do everything but now it’s socially unacceptable for them to try and limit their awesomeness.  In the past, women were expected to have kids and maybe hold down a job as opposed to holding down her job, a second job for her s.o., placing the kids in private school, doing PTA, every after school activity known to man, volunteer work, perfecting her stock portfolio, getting her masters, and not complaining about operating on two hours’ sleep a night. 

Also, there is now the necessity of being graceful and accepting when her husband leaves her for the office intern because she’s young and has drive and spirit.  Used to be you could just dive into a bottle or be bitter and watch daytime soaps, but modern etiquette just doesn’t have room for those shenanigans.  In the spirit of this movement of feminisnt, I’d like to encourage less responsibility for women worldwide. 

Internet Kill Switch?

internet kill switch

Above is a link to an article on the Huffington Post regarding a new senate bill geared to allow the president the seize control of or shut down portions of the internet in case of a national cyberemergency.  It also would be responsible for creation of a new agency within the Department of Homeland Security, the National Center for Cybersecurity and Communications (NCCC).

Cyberemergency?  Aside from the absolute ridiculousness of the term and obvious frightening applications with regard to freedom of privacy let's look at the title of the proposed new department.  The National Center for Cybersecurity and Communications; makes it sound like the Smithsonian doesn't it?  Some new and exciting national monument meant to be a beacon to uphold all that is right and just on the webbernets.

Crap.  Crap, I say, crap.  This bill is vague and intended to do nothing more than expand the already ridiculous and unconstitutional levels of power the Executive office now holds.  The first line of it states that it's to amend the Homeland Security Act and we all know that's not going away any time soon.  So if they managed to get it through somehow there's no way we'd be able to get rid of it.  Take a look at article 18 of the bill below:

                     "(18) RISK.—The term ‘‘risk’’ means the potential for an unwanted outcome resulting from an incident, as determined by the likelihood of the occurrence of the incident and the associated consequences, including potential for an adverse outcome assessed as a function of threats, vulnerabilities, and consequences associated with an incident.

Hmm, not vague at all is it?  Risk to whom, is the question here.  Here's the link to the full bill if you're interested.  http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-s3480/show

The question is, whom is being threatened?  Certainly not the current residents of the United States of America.  Terrorists are tired of us and focusing on France and Russia.  We are, quite literally, bowing to China and they're not bowing back.  And what connections does Senator Lieberman have that are pushing for this to be beneficial to him?  Or perhaps the current president?  Potential for an "adverse outcome" indeed.

Wikileaks gets hit, then this constant back and forth over whether or not the president's birth certificate is available for public record.  What else don't they want us to know? 

Hello?

Ball's in the Home Court

Although I am not a basketball fan, tonight it should be noted that the New Orleans Hornets beat the Seattle Hawks 100 to 59.

Why do I mention this?  My neighbor who lives on the opposite side of the duplex is a cheerleader for the Hornets.  Don't ask me what her name is, I don't know.  I say hi to her when she comes and goes, but otherwise my conversations with the members of the living quarters on the opposite side are limited to her informal pet Porch Cat.  I can tell you that Porch Cat is definitely the friendliest resident.

Cheerleader has a boyfriend that I had seen once or twice before but had never gotten distinct facial features from.  The first time I saw him he was wearing a gold luchador mask and the other time it was the back of his head as they were leaving.  I finally got to see his face the other day and he looks like your typical blended Irish.  I couldn't help but smile.

The reason for my mirth is that the house I live in, much as I love it, does not have much in the way of sound insulation.  As a result a few weeks ago I was privy to various rhythmic bangings, moanings, and groanings coming from next door.  Other Brother got the far more of it since his bedroom is opposite hers, but I think the neighbor decided to spice things up a bit by wandering out into the living room.

This recent noise led me to wonder just exactly when it is that they get at it so vigorously.  As was proven by the large number of SuperBowl Babies (Drew Brees' family included) winning a game can put you in a good mood.  My purely scientific theory is that any time the home team wins, her boyfriend has to let loose some of that winning excitability.  I was thus treated to the sounds of some extremely enthusiastic furniture rearranging a few weeks ago, which Cheerleader seemed to enjoy immensely.  There was a two to three minute pause and then it started up again.

Now here's the funny bit.  Any woman who's ever been married (or even in a serious relationship) can tell you that sometimes you just want to be done.  Just like moms can tell what different cries their newborns have, other women can also tell you exactly when the chick is faking it.  This is what I got to hear the other night.  It amused me because here's this girl who's just gotten home from what is essentially a blue collar job (hard physical labor), probably wanting nothing more than a hot bath and a change out of sweaty clothes and here comes Irish wanting to fool around. 

So instead of going right to bed, she figures she's nasty sweaty anyway and may as well get it on so she doesn't have to shower twice (or wake up during a great sleep to be annoyed by a repetitive prodding).  Certainly she's grown to expect this over the time of dating Irish and puts aside her needs not for his but for convenience and minimal annoyance.  And it's not at all a bad thing because prior to halftime both teams were definitely scoring.  Unfortunately, in the second half she loses all momentum and after a few short minutes of hearing what sounds like dubbed porn it's over.  And I can guarantee you that during all of it he thought he was MVP.

That's what girls do for you guys, so count your blessings.  Whether we're tired, cranky, or just plain not in the mood there are going to be times when we add a little extra noise which nine times out of ten gets taken as proof that yes, you are studmuffin of the universe.  We girls know better, and it's probably just as well that most guys can't tell the difference between real and simulated squeakies.  It's not that it's not enjoyable either way, it's just sometimes a minute or two of moaning saves you a few hours of irritation on both sides.

The walloping started up a few minutes ago, it's now shortly after midnight.

Wait a minute, tonight's game was an away game.

Oops.

Way to go champ, way to go. 

My Homework Assignment: Are Horror Movies Misogynistic?

            As a horror movie buff from way back, let’s first take a look at what defines a horror movie.  The concept of tales of terror is nothing new; it’s just a new medium for an old tradition.  Storytelling around a campfire has been around as long as spoken language has been.  Now it’s just splayed out on the big screen instead of shadows on the cave wall with huddled clansmen.  Fairy tales were for the most part told to impart a lesson in a frightening manner meant to scare the listeners into behaving.  Not every story was based on a weak female either; look at Hansel and Gretel for example.  Brother and sister were equally clever throughout, but it was Gretel that saved the two from the cannibalistic witch in the gingerbread house.

            Ultimately, any story meant to frighten has some sort of lesson to it.  Trust your instincts, don’t hitchhike, for cripes sake don’t bar yourself in a cellar during a zombie attack.  To be sure, there are a number of horror movies that exploit the evil bad guy going after the innocent girl, but then most mainstream American movies (drama, romance, comedy) follow this formula as well.  Why?  The same reason that boy bands keep being renewed once every eight to ten years; it’s a formula that makes money.  All that really changes is whether or not she marries the guy in the end.  The real mark of a good horror movie versus a bad one are:

1. Can you empathize with the villain?
2. Is the hero one dimensional?

If you find yourself not necessarily agreeing with, but understanding why the psychotic killer does what they do, the story gains complexity and becomes more than just a slasher flick.  It’s now a movie that sucks you into the characters instead of just leading you along the storyline.       

Plus, if the hero is your average chauvinistic jock/ette that overcomes the bad guy by sheer luck and mindless bravado there is absolutely no thrill to be had.  Anybody with a little muscle and half a mind to aim can splatter a head like a pumpkin.  Whee.

The best example in the horror realm of both is the original Nightmare on Elm Street.  Heather Langenkamp’s Nancy as the foil to Freddy was your typical naïve high schooler but she didn’t stay that way long.  She took measures to find out how to beat Freddy at his own game even going to the extent of learning booby traps to give herself an advantage.  As far as Kreuger goes, psychopathic child killer or no, it’s easy to see how he might be a little hacked off at a horde of angry parents burning him to death and taking revenge. 

If there is one proof that horror films favor the male it’s the actual chemical reaction to fear.  When experiencing fear the body receives a rush of adrenaline.  Adrenaline is released during times of fear or arousal.  This in turn triggers the survival responses, fight, flight or…fool around.  Fighting is an unusual response toward watching a movie so you are left with either fleeing (which is stopped by a strong, comforting arm and soothing words) or a pounding heart that can easily be confused as something else equally interesting.  Either way, the spooked female is likely to turn into her date’s arms rather than away.  That is, provided he’s not more scared than she is. 

For more flicks that feature strong female characters, check these out.  Thanks to the original Texas Zombie Hunter Mike Sir Hendrey for his input. 

I Spit on Your Grave
Resident Evil series
Remake of the Night of the Living Dead
The Horde

Off and On: Yet Again, Proof that I Will go to the Hot Place

Off and On: Yet Again, Proof that I Will go to the Hot Place: "Alongside the core of the Central Business District in New Orleans runs the long bridge over the Mississippi. It curves around the cit..."

Off and On: Wow, Seriously?

Off and On: Wow, Seriously?: "So I'm sitting in the acupuncturist's office waiting for James to get done with his treatment and reading a copy of Travel and Leisure to ma..."

Yet Again, Proof that I Will go to the Hot Place

Alongside the core of the Central Business District in New Orleans runs the long bridge over the Mississippi.  It curves around the city and you get a fine view of all the buildings and the Superdome from a high vantage point.  It was nearing sunset and I mentioned to my friend that it hadn't occurred to me before, but at the height we were at the sports venue resembled a large glistening diaphragm.


I paused, thought about it some more, and then began to giggle.


"Well, that is where all the fastest swimmers got caught."


I'd say this is enough to get me a front row ticket to the unholy handbasket.

Off and On: Wow, Seriously?

Off and On: Wow, Seriously?: "So I'm sitting in the acupuncturist's office waiting for James to get done with his treatment and reading a copy of Travel and Leisure to ma..."

Wow, Seriously?

So I'm sitting in the acupuncturist's office waiting for James to get done with his treatment and reading a copy of Travel and Leisure to make the time go by.  A small blurb caught my eye saying something along the lines of how the UN had just appointed a space ambassador in case we should have any aliens land and want to communicate.

Really?  I checked the date, the issue wasn't for April 1st.  Naturally I had to verify when I got home.  Here it is folks:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/8025832/UN-to-appoint-space-ambassador-to-greet-alien-visitors.html

And here's the UN Office for Outer Space Affairs website:
http://www.unoosa.org/oosa/index.html

Now, primarily this office deals with the peaceful uses of outer space.  No arms races allowed, where you can and can't put your XM Radio satellite; that sort of thing.  They're also highly interested in weather monitoring to prevent disaster and famine as well as helping third world countries have higher scientific development.

Third world?  So this branch of the UN is pushing for countries like Nigeria whose greatest accomplishment thus far (aside from years of war and self-brutalization) is the e-mail scam?  Fascinating.  I don't know about you, but putting any sort of high technology into the hands of people who barely have the capability within their own country of getting an elementary education is NOT a good idea.  Putting the cart before the horse, isn't it?

I mean really, Nigeria?  I had an acquaintance recently get her apartment broken into just before Christmas by two Nigerians living in the same complex.  They'd been waiting for people to go to work, breaking in (they broke her door in half) and making off with everything they could.  She caught them just as they were jumping the balcony to get away.  Apparently, the thieves' apartment had been completely empty when they moved in and they'd been furnishing it with their neighbors' stuff.  Most of hers had already been pawned by the time the cops caught them.

I have known a few folks from the aforementioned country that were genuinely honest, intelligent, and hard working .  Unfortunately this seems to be the exception rather than the rule.  And I'm sure they cringe every time they hear another story about their country compatriots pulling another nasty trick on humanity.

You know, it's times like this I think I'd rather have the aliens.

Unbidden Musings

Now that all is quiet I realize that watching Loose Change 9/11 followed by Naked Lunch was, perhaps, not the best idea in an empty house.  Paranoia followed by hallucinogenic dysmorphia has me creeped out by the sound of what might possibly be talking typewriters in the kitchen.  Probably just creaks in the place.  I'm going to go with that.

In an effort to retain normalcy, I shall recount the highlights of the last weekend.  My friend Tony, his wife Allison, and their little boy William came to stay with me and visit.  The dully gleaming neon of the French Quarter in the late afternoon sun held no interest for the little one who wanted mainly to play video games.  He'll realize what he missed when he hits about 13.  Allison on the other hand loved all of it and took pictures of everything.  Tony had been before, so it wasn't as big a deal to him, but the family visit was what was important.  I got to meet his brother Jeff and his boy Peyton as well, so I am well on the way to having an extended family here in Louisiana also.

Great hopes arise for a better future with the job prospects, let's hope that whatever Peruvianism buried in the genetic pool comes through to save the day.  I'm tired of not working, I need a job now!  I hate it when the Universe makes me wait.  Oh well, best to let go and just not worry about it.  Just keep moving forward as best I can avoiding any more than the usual weirdness.  Eh, who am I kidding?  That's where half my life comes from.  I'd probably be bored spitless without it.  If I can just keep from dreaming about bung beetles in Tangiers I'll be ok tonight. 

Farewell MySpace

I'm officially moving from the social disease called MySpace into an arena that is far less childish.  It's a shame I can't link all my past posts.  The only reason I stayed with MySpace as long as I did was because it had a blog I'd been using for years.  Now that everybody's moved to the far more consistent FaceBook, there's no reason not to start linking this post there.  Heather's blog is back!