Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Off and On: NOW? Never! Hooray for Feminisnt.
Off and On: NOW? Never! Hooray for Feminisnt.: "I don’t think the National Organization for Women would appreciate my views on less equality for females. Thirty years ago women could..."
NOW? Never! Hooray for Feminisnt.
I don’t think the National Organization for Women would appreciate my views on less equality for females. Thirty years ago women could do everything but now it’s socially unacceptable for them to try and limit their awesomeness. In the past, women were expected to have kids and maybe hold down a job as opposed to holding down her job, a second job for her s.o., placing the kids in private school, doing PTA, every after school activity known to man, volunteer work, perfecting her stock portfolio, getting her masters, and not complaining about operating on two hours’ sleep a night.
Also, there is now the necessity of being graceful and accepting when her husband leaves her for the office intern because she’s young and has drive and spirit. Used to be you could just dive into a bottle or be bitter and watch daytime soaps, but modern etiquette just doesn’t have room for those shenanigans. In the spirit of this movement of feminisnt, I’d like to encourage less responsibility for women worldwide.
Also, there is now the necessity of being graceful and accepting when her husband leaves her for the office intern because she’s young and has drive and spirit. Used to be you could just dive into a bottle or be bitter and watch daytime soaps, but modern etiquette just doesn’t have room for those shenanigans. In the spirit of this movement of feminisnt, I’d like to encourage less responsibility for women worldwide.
Internet Kill Switch?
internet kill switch
Above is a link to an article on the Huffington Post regarding a new senate bill geared to allow the president the seize control of or shut down portions of the internet in case of a national cyberemergency. It also would be responsible for creation of a new agency within the Department of Homeland Security, the National Center for Cybersecurity and Communications (NCCC).
Cyberemergency? Aside from the absolute ridiculousness of the term and obvious frightening applications with regard to freedom of privacy let's look at the title of the proposed new department. The National Center for Cybersecurity and Communications; makes it sound like the Smithsonian doesn't it? Some new and exciting national monument meant to be a beacon to uphold all that is right and just on the webbernets.
Crap. Crap, I say, crap. This bill is vague and intended to do nothing more than expand the already ridiculous and unconstitutional levels of power the Executive office now holds. The first line of it states that it's to amend the Homeland Security Act and we all know that's not going away any time soon. So if they managed to get it through somehow there's no way we'd be able to get rid of it. Take a look at article 18 of the bill below:
"(18) RISK.—The term ‘‘risk’’ means the potential for an unwanted outcome resulting from an incident, as determined by the likelihood of the occurrence of the incident and the associated consequences, including potential for an adverse outcome assessed as a function of threats, vulnerabilities, and consequences associated with an incident.
Hmm, not vague at all is it? Risk to whom, is the question here. Here's the link to the full bill if you're interested. http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-s3480/show
The question is, whom is being threatened? Certainly not the current residents of the United States of America. Terrorists are tired of us and focusing on France and Russia. We are, quite literally, bowing to China and they're not bowing back. And what connections does Senator Lieberman have that are pushing for this to be beneficial to him? Or perhaps the current president? Potential for an "adverse outcome" indeed.
Wikileaks gets hit, then this constant back and forth over whether or not the president's birth certificate is available for public record. What else don't they want us to know?
Hello?
Above is a link to an article on the Huffington Post regarding a new senate bill geared to allow the president the seize control of or shut down portions of the internet in case of a national cyberemergency. It also would be responsible for creation of a new agency within the Department of Homeland Security, the National Center for Cybersecurity and Communications (NCCC).
Cyberemergency? Aside from the absolute ridiculousness of the term and obvious frightening applications with regard to freedom of privacy let's look at the title of the proposed new department. The National Center for Cybersecurity and Communications; makes it sound like the Smithsonian doesn't it? Some new and exciting national monument meant to be a beacon to uphold all that is right and just on the webbernets.
Crap. Crap, I say, crap. This bill is vague and intended to do nothing more than expand the already ridiculous and unconstitutional levels of power the Executive office now holds. The first line of it states that it's to amend the Homeland Security Act and we all know that's not going away any time soon. So if they managed to get it through somehow there's no way we'd be able to get rid of it. Take a look at article 18 of the bill below:
"(18) RISK.—The term ‘‘risk’’ means the potential for an unwanted outcome resulting from an incident, as determined by the likelihood of the occurrence of the incident and the associated consequences, including potential for an adverse outcome assessed as a function of threats, vulnerabilities, and consequences associated with an incident.
Hmm, not vague at all is it? Risk to whom, is the question here. Here's the link to the full bill if you're interested. http://www.opencongress.org/bill/111-s3480/show
The question is, whom is being threatened? Certainly not the current residents of the United States of America. Terrorists are tired of us and focusing on France and Russia. We are, quite literally, bowing to China and they're not bowing back. And what connections does Senator Lieberman have that are pushing for this to be beneficial to him? Or perhaps the current president? Potential for an "adverse outcome" indeed.
Wikileaks gets hit, then this constant back and forth over whether or not the president's birth certificate is available for public record. What else don't they want us to know?
Hello?
Friday, January 21, 2011
Ball's in the Home Court
Although I am not a basketball fan, tonight it should be noted that the New Orleans Hornets beat the Seattle Hawks 100 to 59.
Why do I mention this? My neighbor who lives on the opposite side of the duplex is a cheerleader for the Hornets. Don't ask me what her name is, I don't know. I say hi to her when she comes and goes, but otherwise my conversations with the members of the living quarters on the opposite side are limited to her informal pet Porch Cat. I can tell you that Porch Cat is definitely the friendliest resident.
Cheerleader has a boyfriend that I had seen once or twice before but had never gotten distinct facial features from. The first time I saw him he was wearing a gold luchador mask and the other time it was the back of his head as they were leaving. I finally got to see his face the other day and he looks like your typical blended Irish. I couldn't help but smile.
The reason for my mirth is that the house I live in, much as I love it, does not have much in the way of sound insulation. As a result a few weeks ago I was privy to various rhythmic bangings, moanings, and groanings coming from next door. Other Brother got the far more of it since his bedroom is opposite hers, but I think the neighbor decided to spice things up a bit by wandering out into the living room.
This recent noise led me to wonder just exactly when it is that they get at it so vigorously. As was proven by the large number of SuperBowl Babies (Drew Brees' family included) winning a game can put you in a good mood. My purely scientific theory is that any time the home team wins, her boyfriend has to let loose some of that winning excitability. I was thus treated to the sounds of some extremely enthusiastic furniture rearranging a few weeks ago, which Cheerleader seemed to enjoy immensely. There was a two to three minute pause and then it started up again.
Now here's the funny bit. Any woman who's ever been married (or even in a serious relationship) can tell you that sometimes you just want to be done. Just like moms can tell what different cries their newborns have, other women can also tell you exactly when the chick is faking it. This is what I got to hear the other night. It amused me because here's this girl who's just gotten home from what is essentially a blue collar job (hard physical labor), probably wanting nothing more than a hot bath and a change out of sweaty clothes and here comes Irish wanting to fool around.
So instead of going right to bed, she figures she's nasty sweaty anyway and may as well get it on so she doesn't have to shower twice (or wake up during a great sleep to be annoyed by a repetitive prodding). Certainly she's grown to expect this over the time of dating Irish and puts aside her needs not for his but for convenience and minimal annoyance. And it's not at all a bad thing because prior to halftime both teams were definitely scoring. Unfortunately, in the second half she loses all momentum and after a few short minutes of hearing what sounds like dubbed porn it's over. And I can guarantee you that during all of it he thought he was MVP.
That's what girls do for you guys, so count your blessings. Whether we're tired, cranky, or just plain not in the mood there are going to be times when we add a little extra noise which nine times out of ten gets taken as proof that yes, you are studmuffin of the universe. We girls know better, and it's probably just as well that most guys can't tell the difference between real and simulated squeakies. It's not that it's not enjoyable either way, it's just sometimes a minute or two of moaning saves you a few hours of irritation on both sides.
The walloping started up a few minutes ago, it's now shortly after midnight.
Wait a minute, tonight's game was an away game.
Oops.
Way to go champ, way to go.
Why do I mention this? My neighbor who lives on the opposite side of the duplex is a cheerleader for the Hornets. Don't ask me what her name is, I don't know. I say hi to her when she comes and goes, but otherwise my conversations with the members of the living quarters on the opposite side are limited to her informal pet Porch Cat. I can tell you that Porch Cat is definitely the friendliest resident.
Cheerleader has a boyfriend that I had seen once or twice before but had never gotten distinct facial features from. The first time I saw him he was wearing a gold luchador mask and the other time it was the back of his head as they were leaving. I finally got to see his face the other day and he looks like your typical blended Irish. I couldn't help but smile.
The reason for my mirth is that the house I live in, much as I love it, does not have much in the way of sound insulation. As a result a few weeks ago I was privy to various rhythmic bangings, moanings, and groanings coming from next door. Other Brother got the far more of it since his bedroom is opposite hers, but I think the neighbor decided to spice things up a bit by wandering out into the living room.
This recent noise led me to wonder just exactly when it is that they get at it so vigorously. As was proven by the large number of SuperBowl Babies (Drew Brees' family included) winning a game can put you in a good mood. My purely scientific theory is that any time the home team wins, her boyfriend has to let loose some of that winning excitability. I was thus treated to the sounds of some extremely enthusiastic furniture rearranging a few weeks ago, which Cheerleader seemed to enjoy immensely. There was a two to three minute pause and then it started up again.
Now here's the funny bit. Any woman who's ever been married (or even in a serious relationship) can tell you that sometimes you just want to be done. Just like moms can tell what different cries their newborns have, other women can also tell you exactly when the chick is faking it. This is what I got to hear the other night. It amused me because here's this girl who's just gotten home from what is essentially a blue collar job (hard physical labor), probably wanting nothing more than a hot bath and a change out of sweaty clothes and here comes Irish wanting to fool around.
So instead of going right to bed, she figures she's nasty sweaty anyway and may as well get it on so she doesn't have to shower twice (or wake up during a great sleep to be annoyed by a repetitive prodding). Certainly she's grown to expect this over the time of dating Irish and puts aside her needs not for his but for convenience and minimal annoyance. And it's not at all a bad thing because prior to halftime both teams were definitely scoring. Unfortunately, in the second half she loses all momentum and after a few short minutes of hearing what sounds like dubbed porn it's over. And I can guarantee you that during all of it he thought he was MVP.
That's what girls do for you guys, so count your blessings. Whether we're tired, cranky, or just plain not in the mood there are going to be times when we add a little extra noise which nine times out of ten gets taken as proof that yes, you are studmuffin of the universe. We girls know better, and it's probably just as well that most guys can't tell the difference between real and simulated squeakies. It's not that it's not enjoyable either way, it's just sometimes a minute or two of moaning saves you a few hours of irritation on both sides.
The walloping started up a few minutes ago, it's now shortly after midnight.
Wait a minute, tonight's game was an away game.
Oops.
Way to go champ, way to go.
Sunday, January 16, 2011
My Homework Assignment: Are Horror Movies Misogynistic?
As a horror movie buff from way back, let’s first take a look at what defines a horror movie. The concept of tales of terror is nothing new; it’s just a new medium for an old tradition. Storytelling around a campfire has been around as long as spoken language has been. Now it’s just splayed out on the big screen instead of shadows on the cave wall with huddled clansmen. Fairy tales were for the most part told to impart a lesson in a frightening manner meant to scare the listeners into behaving. Not every story was based on a weak female either; look at Hansel and Gretel for example. Brother and sister were equally clever throughout, but it was Gretel that saved the two from the cannibalistic witch in the gingerbread house.
Ultimately, any story meant to frighten has some sort of lesson to it. Trust your instincts, don’t hitchhike, for cripes sake don’t bar yourself in a cellar during a zombie attack. To be sure, there are a number of horror movies that exploit the evil bad guy going after the innocent girl, but then most mainstream American movies (drama, romance, comedy) follow this formula as well. Why? The same reason that boy bands keep being renewed once every eight to ten years; it’s a formula that makes money. All that really changes is whether or not she marries the guy in the end. The real mark of a good horror movie versus a bad one are:
For more flicks that feature strong female characters, check these out. Thanks to the original Texas Zombie Hunter Mike Sir Hendrey for his input.
I Spit on Your Grave
Resident Evil series
Remake of the Night of the Living Dead
The Horde
Ultimately, any story meant to frighten has some sort of lesson to it. Trust your instincts, don’t hitchhike, for cripes sake don’t bar yourself in a cellar during a zombie attack. To be sure, there are a number of horror movies that exploit the evil bad guy going after the innocent girl, but then most mainstream American movies (drama, romance, comedy) follow this formula as well. Why? The same reason that boy bands keep being renewed once every eight to ten years; it’s a formula that makes money. All that really changes is whether or not she marries the guy in the end. The real mark of a good horror movie versus a bad one are:
- Can you empathize with the villain?
- Is the hero one dimensional?
If you find yourself not necessarily agreeing with, but understanding why the psychotic killer does what they do, the story gains complexity and becomes more than just a slasher flick. It’s now a movie that sucks you into the characters instead of just leading you along the storyline.
Plus, if the hero is your average chauvinistic jock/ette that overcomes the bad guy by sheer luck and mindless bravado there is absolutely no thrill to be had. Anybody with a little muscle and half a mind to aim can splatter a head like a pumpkin. Whee.
The best example in the horror realm of both is the original Nightmare on Elm Street. Heather Langenkamp’s Nancy as the foil to Freddy was your typical naïve high schooler but she didn’t stay that way long. She took measures to find out how to beat Freddy at his own game even going to the extent of learning booby traps to give herself an advantage. As far as Kreuger goes, psychopathic child killer or no, it’s easy to see how he might be a little hacked off at a horde of angry parents burning him to death and taking revenge.
If there is one proof that horror films favor the male it’s the actual chemical reaction to fear. When experiencing fear the body receives a rush of adrenaline. Adrenaline is released during times of fear or arousal. This in turn triggers the survival responses, fight, flight or…fool around. Fighting is an unusual response toward watching a movie so you are left with either fleeing (which is stopped by a strong, comforting arm and soothing words) or a pounding heart that can easily be confused as something else equally interesting. Either way, the spooked female is likely to turn into her date’s arms rather than away. That is, provided he’s not more scared than she is.
Resident Evil series
Remake of the Night of the Living Dead
The Horde
Friday, January 14, 2011
Off and On: Yet Again, Proof that I Will go to the Hot Place
Off and On: Yet Again, Proof that I Will go to the Hot Place: "Alongside the core of the Central Business District in New Orleans runs the long bridge over the Mississippi. It curves around the cit..."
Off and On: Wow, Seriously?
Off and On: Wow, Seriously?: "So I'm sitting in the acupuncturist's office waiting for James to get done with his treatment and reading a copy of Travel and Leisure to ma..."
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