Eww, What's That Smell? Smells Like Victory.

I thought about you yesterday.  I had no intention of doing so and certainly wasn't happy that I had to remember you, but nonetheless I did.  A dear friend who knew all you'd done to me, her, and others during and after our "marriage" told me that you were engaged to an old friend of hers.  She said it'd been years since she'd seen her, but she had always been a very sweet girl.

I was a sweet girl who was in such a depressive funk that it was simply too easy pickings for you to take advantage of me and all I had to offer.  I let my hate of you go quite some time ago; it was doing nothing but giving you the power you've always sought and never managed to grasp in any real sense.  You were abusive in every way except physically (had you a pair big enough to try and hit me, I'd have been gone far sooner) and now you have this poor girl wrapped up in your worthless life.  Because, let's face it, someone with barely a high school diploma, years of security guard work, and who dumps his kids off on his mother to raise them, is hardly someone to rely on in your old age.  I would be willing to hazard a guess that this new girl is the primary breadwinner (as I was) and more than a little naive and/or damaged.

Mr. T said it best.  "I pity the fool."  Because fool she is, as I was, if she thinks anything good can ever come from a person who makes it their mission in life to actively create misery for others.  And there are MANY others whom to this day would just assume turn away if you happened to get your shoelace stuck in railroad tracks and an oncoming train ten feet away.  Most of them would probably just stand and watch with a smile as the blood splattered.

Early on I thought I could be the good in your life that you claimed to need.  I couldn't do anything for you the, and even if I wanted to I certainly can't now.  All I can do is be thankful I got away before you killed me with misery and  went on to lead a life that others envy.  I have truly loyal friends who love me and supported me in times of need.  I have a wonderful man who has laid his life on the line for me and continues to work hard every day so that we can live in comfort and happiness.  I know without a doubt that he would sooner stab himself in the toe with an icepick than see me unhappy.  He helps me without complaint, weathers my occasional hormonal mood swings, and gives me as much unconditional love as I can handle.

I suppose that all there is left to say is thank you.  Had it not been for your horribleness, I would not be as appreciative of what is truly good and worthwhile.  I know that when one day I meet my end I will have things to answer for, as any human being does.  But it is nothing compared to the hell you have created for yourself, and for that I pity you.

I love you Michael Soden.  Thank you for being my better half and rainbow at the end of the storm.

Off and On: Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Off and On: Happy Memorial Day Weekend!: This week has been at least interesting if not completely fruitful.  I had my interview with the cruise agency for the dream job doing trav...

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

This week has been at least interesting if not completely fruitful.  I had my interview with the cruise agency for the dream job doing travel research on Monday; got an e-mail Wednesday saying they'd decided to go with someone else.  It was a disappointment, but not the last stand by any means.

Today I had an excellent interview for a marketing assistant position at a major hair product company.  It's a lot of customer service stuff up front, but they're looking to grow the person they hire into the company and keep them on long term if not permanent.  40 hours a week guaranteed and overtime any time I want it, plus no weekends and I can pick what hours I want to work.  Awesome!  It also appears that I am their only candidate so I should hear something Wednesday.  (The girl I would be working for wasn't sure if her boss would want a second interview; he'd been off for jury duty since Monday.)

And get this, she said she didn't have any problem giving me projects that would let me hone my writing skills and plump up my resume!  Sweet.  The only drawback so far is the drive but if I can pick my own hours I can potentially miss traffic both ways.  My rep at the temp agency just called to check and see how things went and said she'd call me back once she'd touched base with my interviewer about my prospects.  Squee!

Last weekend's adventure was the trial and error method of making lye soap with goat's milk and oatmeal.  The recipe was probably fine, but it's impossible to find palm kernel oil so we substituted palm oil instead.  Note to anyone undertaking soap making; don't substitute.  It's an exact science that can go horribly wrong at worst, or in our case, make overly oily soap.  It's not bad soap, but it's not what we were going for either.

The last minute secondary project was making homemade goat cheese because we had nearly a full gallon of goat's milk left from the Amish family goat farm.  There are Amish in Texas!  Who knew?  In any event, making chevre (fancy French word for "zere ees too much goat meelk in ze fridge") is amazingly easy; though I will follow Tish's advice and do it with coffee filters next time.  Brilliant!

Essentially, all you do is take about half a gallon of goat's milk and heat it in a medium sauce pan to a low boil.  Turn off heat, squeeze between 1/8 and 1/4 cup of lemon juice into mixture and watch it form into itty bitty curds (chunky milk lumps).  If it doesn't do this, very gradually add more lemon.  Strain curds and whey over a deep bowl using either the coffee filter method or cheesecloth placed in a strainer.  After straining (should take around 1 hour left to its own devices; I helped it along by squeezing so it took less time) it should have about the texture and moisture of ricotta.  Add salt, garlic, and whatever herbs float your boat.  Munch with crackers, toast, or Chee-tos.  Yum!  Plus, if you garden like we do, the whey can go into the compost along with the bits deemed unusable from the herb garden (rosemary sticks, basil stems, etc.).

Tomorrow is going to be dedicated to picking blackberries, mulberries, plums, and other wild edibles off of Celeste and Kitty's land.  Sunday will be doing yardwork in return for my brothers' 62" hdtv, and Monday is more yardwork both at our house and at the folks'.  Unless the landfill is closed and I have to find somewhere else to throw the garbage.  I don't want to be sitting on the Group W bench.  

       

Holy Crap, it's Been Awhile

Wow, I didn't realize it'd been that long since posting.  Sometimes life gets in the way and in this case it was as big as an elephant's butt blocking the living room entryway.

To summarize, Mike and I no longer live in New Orleans.  We really didn't want to move back to Texas, but there is absolutely no work to be had down there.  Both of us loved that city and continue to miss it, but Fort Worth is apparently where we need to be.  There have been ups and downs since returning, but things have turned out for the best.  We have a lovely three bedroom house we're renting (which will be a blog all its own once I've cleaned enough to take suitable pictures) and a backyard more than big enough to accommodate our gardening obsession and eventual chicken hut.

My sweetie is working his little booty off at Bell Helicopter being his usual badass self, but I am currently between jobs.  Anybody hiring?  Bueller?  Bueller?  Sigh.  Well, something will come along.  In the meantime, I'm putting in applications every day and am going to dedicate time to my writing.  And why the heck do I smell boiled cabbage all of a sudden?  Weird.

Off and On: Victory Over Crabs!

Off and On: Victory Over Crabs!: The bad news is, no paying work again today or checks from our other movie endeavors. The good news is, Mike had a very good interview toda...

Victory Over Crabs!

The bad news is, no paying work again today or checks from our other movie endeavors.  The good news is, Mike had a very good interview today and another tomorrow.  Send all your good karma this way that I'll finally start with the job my temp agency claims to have for me and that Mike gets a good permanent gig!

So, since the water level dropped and today was a beautiful day we went fishing again.  This time there weren't too many people already taking up the good spots on the dock and we dropped our nets.  Lo and behold, we caught eight crabs!  Fish were all over the place, but they weren't biting.  Gumbo is on the menu for tonight and the next few days!  

Now that we know what to do, it's so easy a five year old could handle it.  Step one:  Find chicken leg.  Step two:  Tie chicken leg to bottom of net.  Step three:  Lower net into water and wait 10-15 minutes.  Step four:  Pull up delicious crab slowly and dump into five gallon bucket.  Step five:  Repeat steps one through four ad infinitum, or until you run out of crab.

Well, we didn't run out of crab, but we did run out of room in the bucket.  Since eight crab were way too many to eat on our own we invited James over to indulge and watch a movie.  I gave myself crabby butt by accidentally sitting on my bowl of gumbo.  One towel and a bunch of laughing later, we got down to munching and movies.  "13 Assassins" is "The Seven Samurai" on steroids, by the way.  Not much on plot, but some pretty cool fight scenes.  

Off to bed now, I'm crabbed out and ready to sleep.  Here for your enjoyment is today's crab adventure in glorious color.

Crab catch!

Alternate Crab View

The Veggies

Boilin' Good!

Hottie and Roux

The Aftermath

Off and On: Parker, Yet Again!

Off and On: Parker, Yet Again!: I tell you what, it's not easy being in the movies. We've got it pretty slick as extras, but it's still essentially blue collar work. Wake...

Parker, Yet Again!

I tell you what, it's not easy being in the movies.  We've got it pretty slick as extras, but it's still essentially blue collar work.  Wake up at 5:30 am for 7:00 call time, nosh on what may or may not be a good breakfast (in this case it was great...lunch, not so much), sit around and wait, and then do exactly as the director tells you in all kinds of weather or risk his ire.  And oh yeah, don't look at the stars of the show.  All in all though, I've had worse jobs and it is fun when you're actually doing something.

It appears that Mike and I will have some up front face time on screen with today's primary actor Jennifer Lopez.  The beginning of the shoot went smoothly, then lunch just seemed to drag.  It was a beautiful day today so cast, crew, and extras were all relishing the pleasant weather.  Unfortunately, we forgot the sunblock and now Mike and I look like Bob the Tomato.  The entire second half of the shoot was an exercise in deliberately not looking conspicuous.  And through it all, I was reminded of what is, quite possibly, J-Lo's most striking and memorable moment of her acting career.  Enjoy!  http://youtu.be/ENLPC1MxqDg

Off and On: Foul Winds and Decadence

Off and On: Foul Winds and Decadence: It's Labor Day weekend and around these parts that means four days of homer-sexual debauchery in the French Quarter. Thousands upon thousan...

Foul Winds and Decadence

It's Labor Day weekend and around these parts that means four days of homer-sexual debauchery in the French Quarter.  Thousands upon thousands of gay men (and for women, the smaller festival of Dykeadence) flood the 'hood for parties, drunkenness, and sex sex sex.  

This year, however, may end up a bit more sparse due to Tropical Storm Lee coming through.  I personally am extremely thankful for the rains it's brought.  Not only has it cooled things down to a more than tolerable 81 degrees, but it put out the remainder of this week's swamp fire.  Lightning struck out in the marshes at the beginning of the week and it was left to burn itself out; much to the chagrin of everyone in a 30 mile radius that had to breathe the acrid smoke.  It was so bad that I woke up out of a dream that the house was on fire at the start of it.  No worries, the house is fine but the ozone stank to high heaven all week.

As the temp agency STILL hasn't gotten me working (but says the job is still on at last correspondence) today we took advantage of the dreary weather and went fishing and crabbing in St. Rose.  This taught us two valuable lessons:

1.  Show up early before all the good spots are taken.
2.  Crabs WILL take bacon as bait.

Here's the proof!

This was a small one, barely bigger than a deck of cards.  They get about twice this size, and boy are they yummy!  They're also called Gumbo crabs and are extremely tasty in da soup.  Mmm...gumbo.  But, since we only caught this little one, he went back into the pond.  By the way, since the chicken wire in the back was so rusted it was crumbling, we ended up getting two crab nets at Walmart for $1.97 each that worked just fine.  Now that I have one to reference, I can make my own with some wire coat hangers and cotton thread.  Yay!

Aside from living off the land (such as it is), the other task of the week was revisiting the Parker shoot.  This time it was background work for a parade setting.  Instead of being blown up this time we got to...are you ready for this?  Watch Jason Statham drive around a corner!  Yeah!

Ok, it wasn't quite on the same level of propane explosions but he's still hot.  Yeah, I said it.  Jason Statham.  HAWT.  Watch the horse racing scene in Cranked 2 and tell me he's not.  Actually, the most amusing part of the short shoot was watching the directors' spat in the school bus.  There were a bus load of Boy Scouts that were supposed to come on scene at a certain time and missed their cue.  The director took off his hat (always a bad sign) and issued a stream of blue words visible through the swamp smoke.   The assistant director was standing in the bus doorway between him and the Scout mom, acting as a go-between so she didn't share the wrath.  I'm not sure what was said, but the next thing I see is her take a good smack at the back of the A.D's head!  The main director backed off shortly thereafter.  I wouldn't want to mess with a Scout mom either!

Off and On: Star Whores

Off and On: Star Whores: Well, the temp agency still didn't call back for when I start the full time spot they got me so it's back to prostituting ourselves for the ...

Star Whores

Well, the temp agency still didn't call back for when I start the full time spot they got me so it's back to prostituting ourselves for the movie business.  Yes, it's more work as extras.  Mike has already worked one shoot this week for a pilot called "Wild Card" in which he sat in Orleans Parish Prison for 13 hours doing...absolutely nothing.  Granted, being an extra is a lot of hurry up and wait, but this set of folks are incredibly disorganized.  Forty people sitting in a cell block and doing time, waiting for their turn to get out.  If they were going for realism, they got it.  He did get to see the tilapia tanks, though.  Yeah, I had to ask him to repeat it when he said it too.  Apparently the prison system used to have a fish farm and provided 90% of the area's restaurants and grocery stores with their tilapia.  After Katrina, it never opened back up again and now they just have empty fish bins.  Tomorrow, it's on to the glamourous town of Thibodaux for more work on "Parker".  Sorry, no explosions this time.

Off and On: A Small Retraction

Off and On: A Small Retraction: While all the rest of the post earlier was true in, "How We Gonna Pay, How We Gonna Pay" Apple is not guilty of the aforementioned sales tac...

A Small Retraction

While all the rest of the post earlier was true in, "How We Gonna Pay, How We Gonna Pay" Apple is not guilty of the aforementioned sales tactics.  It turned out to be a true interview session with Apple's corporate culture at the forefront; cheering upon introductions and running down the aisle to get nametags.  Great enthusiasm throughout the whole thing.  And while it'll be Wednesday before anything is heard, I can thankfully say that Apple is at least showing growth and gumption.  I apologize for the unintended slur, Apple has my thumbs up!

Off and On: How We Gonna Pay, How We Gonna Pay...

Off and On: How We Gonna Pay, How We Gonna Pay...: Ugh, life sucks right now. We're two months behind on rent and the landlord is getting antsy. My lease is up and he's allowing me to go mo...

How We Gonna Pay, How We Gonna Pay...

Ugh, life sucks right now.  We're two months behind on rent and the landlord is getting antsy.  My lease is up and he's allowing me to go month to month but unless we win the lottery things are going to be bad for awhile.  Mike is currently at another interview, this time with Apple at the mall.

I'm going to rant for a minute now, hold on to your hats.  We all know it's a tough economy and money is tight.  Sales is one of the worst businesses to be in because nobody with half an ounce of sense is spending on anything they don't absolutely need.  Anyone who can do sales in this environment and actually make something of it nine times out of ten has my kudos.  What I have a problem with is what appears to be a new trend in "sales" tactics.

In the last two weeks, I, my friend Lodie, and now Mike have all applied for what appeared to be straightforward positions that turned out to be sales pitches to a captive audience.  (See blog from 8/22/11 "The Crab People" for my experience.)  Lodie had this happen to her not once, not twice, but four times in one week.  Now Apple is doing the same with Mike as we speak.

There will always be people who want something for nothing.  Case in point, the people who've never entered a contest, yet win a "free boat".  Upon arrival to collect the prize, they're told that they're being arrested for past tickets and/or warrants.  People who show up for time share meetings thinking they're going to walk away with a thousand dollars or a free vacation for two with no investment or time wasted get what they deserve.  I get that.  There's a time and a place for ploys like this.

Deliberately wasting the time, energy, gas, and already strained financial resources of people who are only trying to find honest work to support themselves and their families is shameful.  In each of these cases the ad that was responded to was made to look as though it were an application for a job, nothing else.  And while a "group interview" in the most informal sense possible was held, it counted for nothing.  The worst part is, if you're really desperate for work you don't want to get up and leave the diatribe because there's the chance the company might still hire you.  So you are reduced to being a captive audience in the worst possible way; having no interest in purchasing any product from the company but paying attention because you never know when the sales patter will stop and the actual employment related questions begin.

And to any businesses out there who might be considering this as a way to get people in to listen to your spiel?  Don't.  Ok?  Just don't.  The depression won't last forever and if you do manage to survive it, there will be a lot of people who will remember the shady tactics you resorted to in the name of profit instead of doing something effective like, oh, say cutting the CEO's bonus.  Revenge is a dish best served cold and I guarantee that's the temperature of the reception you'll get when you try to make a profit off the crowd you duped.  Dishonesty never pays.

Ok, rant over.  Tonight's gourmet meal is red beans and rice with sausage.  Film at 11:00.    

Off and On: Comfort Food

Off and On: Comfort Food: Yesterday was a rough day. Poor Mike got extremely sick with heat exhaustion, nearly to the point of heat stroke due to the ineptitude of t...

Comfort Food

Yesterday was a rough day.  Poor Mike got extremely sick with heat exhaustion, nearly to the point of heat stroke due to the ineptitude of the major shipping company he was throwing boxes for as a temp job.  I had a good interview with the veterinarian's down the street, but was told it would be another week for round two of interviews.  Sigh.  So to make things a little better, we took a brief jaunt on the streetcar to Harrah's and used our leftover voucher for $10 and played penny slots and $0.25 blackjack for awhile.  The free drink was about all we expected to get out of it and we weren't disappointed.

Heading back to the streetcar, I smelled the most horribly appetizing scent in the air; deep fried greasy something-or-others.  Didn't really matter what, I got an instant craving for fat fried goodness.  My general policy is to avoid deep fried, greasy foods because they're bad for me, give me heartburn, and mess with my gall bladder.  Sometimes, if you're miserable anyway, you want at least a good reason to be so.  That was yesterday.

Before getting home, we stopped by Rouses and picked up a few supplies.  Poor Mike was exhausted by this time, having well underestimated the heat sickness so he played at being a slug on the couch.  I got in the kitchen and spent the next hour and a half creating the most greasily decadent dinner I could come up with.  On the menu were fried chicken tenders and home grown okra fresh from the garden; breaded and fried as well.  Skins on garlic cheddar mashed potatoes rounded out the plate and the dollop of dip for the chicken was a buffalo wing blend.  Dessert was my mama's easy recipe for banana pudding (though I almost forgot the bananas).  And of course, you can't have a proper southern meal like that without a glass of sweet iced tea.

Does the new food color wheel include "brown"?  I think we have that one covered.

Naturally, sleep did not go well with heartburn inducing tastiness of that caliber.  It's always darkest before the light as they say, and the light hit when I heard my phone ring.  It was a job offer, and a good one!  I'll be starting (possibly tomorrow) on a temp to perm gig doing typing M-F 9-5 with acceptable pay.  And it's about fifteen minutes closer than the last one was.  Hoody hoo!  Send all your kudos for Mike to find something permanent and paying well and we'll be set.  Yeah!

      

Off and On: The Crab People

Off and On: The Crab People: As in both catching tasty crustaceans and being "crabby". This weekend started with a "job interview" as a receptionist at ITT Tech. I wen...

The Crab People

As in both catching tasty crustaceans and being "crabby".  This weekend started with a "job interview" as a receptionist at ITT Tech.  I went in and discovered there were about seven other women waiting for the group interview setup.  No problem, I've done group interviews before.  What it actually turned out to be was a thinly veiled attempt at school recruitment.  Two hours later, I left the building more than a little pissed that my time had been wasted and gas burned for nothing while Mike was waiting on me to leave the building.

Fortunately, there was some good that came out of it and that was we were close enough to pick up my friend Jason who was in town on his new truck route.  We went home, made some smoked sausage po' boys and homemade okra caponata with the backyard crop and had a good time.

Bedtime came early Friday night because Saturday morning we were up before the roosters (who were still at Pal's on the other side of the Bayou) and on set early for Ricochet.  Six in the morning was the starting time and boy were there a lot of bleary eyeballs.  The set was at the Orleans County Courthouse because it's a crime drama and the scenes being shot were all trial scenes.

Now, for those of you who aren't that familiar with the behind the scenes ways and means of movies and tv, one of the things they make sure you know as an extra is to not wear logos (copyright stuff), whites, or reds.  White stands out too much and red bleeds when you're on camera.  When I looked through my closet the night before, all I had was reds and whites that were suitable for a courtroom setting except for one shirt.  It's a swirly pattern in primarily black and purple...and very low cut.  It's classy, but well, let's face it; I can't help the way I'm built.  The girls were definitely wanting to be part of the show through no fault of my own.

It was still pretty early on and the director was telling people which side of the courtroom he wanted people to go to.  The PA's were calling extras out based on their appearance and the director said "Now everyone, if we say for example, 'Red Shirt' go to the other side, don't take it personally.  We're trying to get things done quickly here."  He then pointed to the mid-twenties guy next to me who looked like this:  http://nerf-this.com/motherly-issue/.

"Moustache!  You, go over there.  And the young lady next to you (pointing to me) , who we'll call Poochie...um, because...of her...shirt design."

I grinned and laughed along with everyone else.  Poochie?  I had a brief, bright memory of the little fluffy pink dog that had a stamper in its paw.  Mike texted me from across the room.  "Did he just say what I think he said?"  Yep.  He sure did.  I knew he was trying to find a descriptive, yet non-offensive adjective for my buxomness, but it just didn't get any better.  So for the rest of the day, I found myself trying to keep my cleavage to a minimum, and the crew moving me as far in the back as they could without being too obvious about it.

Mike, on the other hand, got tons of on screen camera time including interaction with Julie Benz!  She played
"Darla" on Buffy and Angel and is on Dexter as the serial killer's girlfriend/wife.  Too cool!  Mike started out as a juror, then got moved to being a reporter, then replacing a guy who started drooling in his sleep mid-shot behind the actress.  He says he doesn't want to be an actor, but I really don't think they're giving him the option.

While I'll probably never be anything more than an extra on television, I have decided to take a hint from reality tv with crab fishing a la Deadliest Catch.  There's a big roll of chicken wire stuffed beneath the house and we're about to create a crab trap or two to take to Lake Ponchartrain.  You can catch all kinds of stuff in there, but the blue crabs are all over the place.  And with a lot fewer freezing temperatures.  Tune in next week when we bring you the catch of the day!