Eww, What's That Smell? Smells Like Victory.

I thought about you yesterday.  I had no intention of doing so and certainly wasn't happy that I had to remember you, but nonetheless I did.  A dear friend who knew all you'd done to me, her, and others during and after our "marriage" told me that you were engaged to an old friend of hers.  She said it'd been years since she'd seen her, but she had always been a very sweet girl.

I was a sweet girl who was in such a depressive funk that it was simply too easy pickings for you to take advantage of me and all I had to offer.  I let my hate of you go quite some time ago; it was doing nothing but giving you the power you've always sought and never managed to grasp in any real sense.  You were abusive in every way except physically (had you a pair big enough to try and hit me, I'd have been gone far sooner) and now you have this poor girl wrapped up in your worthless life.  Because, let's face it, someone with barely a high school diploma, years of security guard work, and who dumps his kids off on his mother to raise them, is hardly someone to rely on in your old age.  I would be willing to hazard a guess that this new girl is the primary breadwinner (as I was) and more than a little naive and/or damaged.

Mr. T said it best.  "I pity the fool."  Because fool she is, as I was, if she thinks anything good can ever come from a person who makes it their mission in life to actively create misery for others.  And there are MANY others whom to this day would just assume turn away if you happened to get your shoelace stuck in railroad tracks and an oncoming train ten feet away.  Most of them would probably just stand and watch with a smile as the blood splattered.

Early on I thought I could be the good in your life that you claimed to need.  I couldn't do anything for you the, and even if I wanted to I certainly can't now.  All I can do is be thankful I got away before you killed me with misery and  went on to lead a life that others envy.  I have truly loyal friends who love me and supported me in times of need.  I have a wonderful man who has laid his life on the line for me and continues to work hard every day so that we can live in comfort and happiness.  I know without a doubt that he would sooner stab himself in the toe with an icepick than see me unhappy.  He helps me without complaint, weathers my occasional hormonal mood swings, and gives me as much unconditional love as I can handle.

I suppose that all there is left to say is thank you.  Had it not been for your horribleness, I would not be as appreciative of what is truly good and worthwhile.  I know that when one day I meet my end I will have things to answer for, as any human being does.  But it is nothing compared to the hell you have created for yourself, and for that I pity you.

I love you Michael Soden.  Thank you for being my better half and rainbow at the end of the storm.

Off and On: Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

Off and On: Happy Memorial Day Weekend!: This week has been at least interesting if not completely fruitful.  I had my interview with the cruise agency for the dream job doing trav...

Happy Memorial Day Weekend!

This week has been at least interesting if not completely fruitful.  I had my interview with the cruise agency for the dream job doing travel research on Monday; got an e-mail Wednesday saying they'd decided to go with someone else.  It was a disappointment, but not the last stand by any means.

Today I had an excellent interview for a marketing assistant position at a major hair product company.  It's a lot of customer service stuff up front, but they're looking to grow the person they hire into the company and keep them on long term if not permanent.  40 hours a week guaranteed and overtime any time I want it, plus no weekends and I can pick what hours I want to work.  Awesome!  It also appears that I am their only candidate so I should hear something Wednesday.  (The girl I would be working for wasn't sure if her boss would want a second interview; he'd been off for jury duty since Monday.)

And get this, she said she didn't have any problem giving me projects that would let me hone my writing skills and plump up my resume!  Sweet.  The only drawback so far is the drive but if I can pick my own hours I can potentially miss traffic both ways.  My rep at the temp agency just called to check and see how things went and said she'd call me back once she'd touched base with my interviewer about my prospects.  Squee!

Last weekend's adventure was the trial and error method of making lye soap with goat's milk and oatmeal.  The recipe was probably fine, but it's impossible to find palm kernel oil so we substituted palm oil instead.  Note to anyone undertaking soap making; don't substitute.  It's an exact science that can go horribly wrong at worst, or in our case, make overly oily soap.  It's not bad soap, but it's not what we were going for either.

The last minute secondary project was making homemade goat cheese because we had nearly a full gallon of goat's milk left from the Amish family goat farm.  There are Amish in Texas!  Who knew?  In any event, making chevre (fancy French word for "zere ees too much goat meelk in ze fridge") is amazingly easy; though I will follow Tish's advice and do it with coffee filters next time.  Brilliant!

Essentially, all you do is take about half a gallon of goat's milk and heat it in a medium sauce pan to a low boil.  Turn off heat, squeeze between 1/8 and 1/4 cup of lemon juice into mixture and watch it form into itty bitty curds (chunky milk lumps).  If it doesn't do this, very gradually add more lemon.  Strain curds and whey over a deep bowl using either the coffee filter method or cheesecloth placed in a strainer.  After straining (should take around 1 hour left to its own devices; I helped it along by squeezing so it took less time) it should have about the texture and moisture of ricotta.  Add salt, garlic, and whatever herbs float your boat.  Munch with crackers, toast, or Chee-tos.  Yum!  Plus, if you garden like we do, the whey can go into the compost along with the bits deemed unusable from the herb garden (rosemary sticks, basil stems, etc.).

Tomorrow is going to be dedicated to picking blackberries, mulberries, plums, and other wild edibles off of Celeste and Kitty's land.  Sunday will be doing yardwork in return for my brothers' 62" hdtv, and Monday is more yardwork both at our house and at the folks'.  Unless the landfill is closed and I have to find somewhere else to throw the garbage.  I don't want to be sitting on the Group W bench.  

       

Holy Crap, it's Been Awhile

Wow, I didn't realize it'd been that long since posting.  Sometimes life gets in the way and in this case it was as big as an elephant's butt blocking the living room entryway.

To summarize, Mike and I no longer live in New Orleans.  We really didn't want to move back to Texas, but there is absolutely no work to be had down there.  Both of us loved that city and continue to miss it, but Fort Worth is apparently where we need to be.  There have been ups and downs since returning, but things have turned out for the best.  We have a lovely three bedroom house we're renting (which will be a blog all its own once I've cleaned enough to take suitable pictures) and a backyard more than big enough to accommodate our gardening obsession and eventual chicken hut.

My sweetie is working his little booty off at Bell Helicopter being his usual badass self, but I am currently between jobs.  Anybody hiring?  Bueller?  Bueller?  Sigh.  Well, something will come along.  In the meantime, I'm putting in applications every day and am going to dedicate time to my writing.  And why the heck do I smell boiled cabbage all of a sudden?  Weird.